hell and spamnation, i've got spamjam recipes!

for you, o luffers of the pinky meat slab in viscous jelly, real live spamjam café recipes. reproduced without permission from "flavors" magazine, vol.4, no. 41, because i love you like i love my luggage.


SPAM melt

3 egg yolks
1 tsp dijon mustard
1 tbsp lemon juice
freshly ground (!) white pepper and salt to taste
1 c olive oil
1 tbsp white sine vinegar
1/2 c grated (white) cheddar cheese
60g SPAM, chopped
french bread sliced on the diagonal

first, make the topping: beat the egg yolks, mustard, lemon juice, pepper and salt until mixture begins to thicken. add olive oil gradually, drizzles at a time, while stirring to let the mixture emulsify. after all the oil is added in the mixture, fold in vinegar. blend grated cheese and SPAM into the mixture.

spread evenly on french bread slice, toast until cheese melts. serve hot.


SPAM hero

1 6-inch length of french bread
SPAM, sliced
mayonnaise, spiked with mustard and honey to taste
lettuce
cheese slices
tomato slices

cut french bread crosswise in half. toast. while tasting bread, fry sPAM on pan or griddle. spread mayonnaise dressing evenly on lower half of french bread. put a bed of lettuce on the bread. arrange SPAM, cheese, and tomato slices on the top. cover with upper half of bread.


SPAM caesar salad

for the croutons:
white bread
oil (unspecified)
minced garlic
grated parmesan cheese
salt and pepper to taste

cut white bread into small cubes. toss in oil, minced garlic, grated cheese, salt and pepper. spread out on baking sheet and toast until light golden brown. let cool.

for the salad:
iceberg lettuce, torn into pieces (what? you were expecting romaine??)
bottled caesar salad dressing
croutongs
SPAM, finely chopped and fried until crispy

toss together lettuce and dressing until evvenly distributed. top with croutons and sprinkle with SPAM bits.