tea sarnies tutorial

i don't know anybody who invites anyone over for tea--well, nothing past a cuppa and a cake anyway, but you never know. it could happen. i do some informal catering for family members and occasionally i'll get a request for a tea sandwich or finger food (no, not like this, goofballs) for a party, and sarnies are usually an inexpensive, easy route to go. face it, no one is ever going to get full eating these, so you might as well make 'em pretty (okay, aesthetically pleasing). if you ever find yourself in need of some light nosh (or, if you need an excuse to serve cupcakes later), and you have no desire to break the bank, these cucumber salmon sandwiches look fahhbulous, taste great, are easy to assemble, and cost pennies. well, dimes, maybe.

ingredients:
any sort of sliced medium density loaf bread--you don't want something so soft that it can't handle the weight of the toppings, but you don't want anything too hearty to compete with the cucumbers
softened cream cheese or butter
wasabi (or finely chopped fresh herbs)
cucumbers (i use japanese variety ones as they have less moisture)
smoked salmon

1. mix the softened cheese or butter with wasabi or herbs, salt and pepper. spread a thin layer of this mixture onto a slice of bread. 2. slice the cucumbers as thinly as possible into long ribbons. you can use a mandoline, but i just use a good vegetable parer. lay and overlap the slices lengthwise across the bread.

3. trim the edges off the bread with a sharp knife so you get a good square or rectangle. see? pretty already. cut these down to bars or triangles, so you get no more than two or three bites per 'wich.

4. cut little rounds out of slices of smoked salmon. i use a kewpie mayonnaise top, but many drink bottle tops will work. decorate each sandwich piece with one salmon round.

impress your friends and family with your mad skillz, y'all. snort. only you'll know how truly dorktastic these were to make.